Diffrent

I think differently. Plus I spend large amounts of time thinking. I think that's why I don't sleep. I stare up and the ceiling that is too dark to see clearly and I think. I have imaginary conversations with people that have hurt me. I replay arguments and think of what I should have said and didn't, or things I said and shouldn't. I don't really know why I do this, I try not to. It hurts to think about those things. My nightmares are getting worse. I'm scared. I had a nightmare last night that one of my friends got hurt because of me, and went to the hospital. I found out that he got sick and went to the hospital last night. Interesting how that works out. My mind is completely fried from lack of sleep and not enough food. I've been getting sick more often. I have a doctors appointment after we get back from Texas, but I wonder if that's soon enough to save my brain from unraveling for good.