So I'm what people need me to be. People need someone that seems completely convinced that God's really there. That's me. No doubt. But I do doubt. It's hard to be 100% convinced. I think God's there, but I don't know to what extent. People ask me, why it this happening to me? Why is God allowing this? I don't know. I pretend to know, but I don't. Why did God allow me to be raped? Why did God let me cut myself? Why? I don't know. But at this point, maybe it was to help me grow stronger, maybe so I can help people who have been in a somewhat same situation. All we can really do is wait and see what God says.